Dating and searching for your ideal job are more similar than you think. From trusting your gut and the butterflies at the beginning to that heart-wrenching redundancy feeling a bit like that breakup you had last year. Unsurprisingly, much of the advice for your dating life can also be applied to your job search!
Here are 5 similarities that will help you consider what’s important to you for a future career change, and it may even give you some dating tips while you’re at it.
1. Put yourself out there
You must be proactive in creating your own opportunities sometimes. It’s pretty rare that you’ll get asked for many dates or interviews if you don’t tell people that you’re available.
Much like a romantic matchmaking service, if you’re out there looking for a new career, we encourage you to register your free account at s1jobs to upload your CVs, create a career profile and save jobs to increase your chances of being headhunted.
Have you already tried the usual online dating apps? Why not try out a local matchmaking service to connect you with other single professionals? Check out Match Made in Scotland to get matched up with someone who shares the same values and ambitions for the future as you. Whilst you’re on your phone updating your Tinder profile, why not jump onto your LinkedIn profile and update that too?
2. First introduction nerves
One of the most stressful aspects is in the preparation, with those butterflies in your stomach. We ask ourselves, “What am I going to wear?”, “Will I make a good first impression?”.
First thing’s first, be punctual. Don’t stand up your date or potential employer, do the decent thing and let them know you’re not going to make it. Arriving even fashionably late to a date or interview can give off the impression that you aren’t really that interested or worse, you don’t consider their time valuable.
Next up, dress to impress. An article on the psychology of fashion explains that your choice of clothing can affect your dating prospects and are “powerful signals to our peers and strangers, projecting the self-image of us that we want to display.”
You’ve heard the old expression “dress for the job you want”. Well, while that may be true and is certainly important to dress professionally, it’s equally important to add your own flair and not lose your personality by pretending to be someone you’re not. Authenticity first. Do a bit of business stalking online and get a sense of what your peers are wearing. We, of course, don’t condone stalking your potential partner, but a wee glance at Facebook can’t hurt.
Be yourself. Think about your body language and make eye contact, this will help figure out if the chemistry is there and if you feel the natural connection with your potential employer or love interest.
3. Is it a match?
Much like how a date is finding out if they are the right match for you, a job interview is equally about discovering if the company is the right match for you, as you are to it.
Just like in your romantic life, you should never settle for an employer that isn’t compatible with your goals and values. Do your research on the company and what they stand for. Find out what previous and current employees are saying about the company. Be honest with yourself about what you really value as must-haves in your new role and ask yourself, “Is this the right match for me?”
4. Be clear about what you want
One of the most dreaded interview questions is always, “Where do you see yourself in 5 years’ time?”, which can be closely compared to ‘the talk’ in dating where you’re asked, “What are you looking for?”.
As intimidating as these questions may feel, neither are trick questions! Be honest with yourself and the person asking the question. Are you looking for some temporary work or a long-term career change? Are you looking for a serious relationship or are you recently out of a long-term relationship and just looking to meet new people?
Whatever you want, make your intentions clear and be honest.
5. Learn from your past mistakes
We’re taught to learn from our mistakes and as difficult as it can be to hear, asking for feedback after an unsuccessful interview is paramount in order to improve and grow and of course, do better in the next one.
We may hear ourselves say ‘It’s not you, it’s me?’, but be open to what you may need to adapt to find the one for you.
Professional Matchmaker, Laura Smyth, worked in recruitment for 10 years before setting up her matchmaking service, Match Made in Scotland, and often discusses the similarities between the dating and recruitment world.
Albert Einstein famously defined insanity as “doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results”. Laura explained that for people who are dating, it’s easy to put unsuccessful dates down to a lack of chemistry, similar to when being unsuccessful at a job interview.
However, when a pattern emerges it’s important to analyse if you’re doing something to put the other party off. Dates, like interviews, are extremely nerve-wracking. We’re sometimes eager to make a great impression and try to “sell ourselves” and perhaps forget to ask important questions and show enough interest in the job, or our date.
Laura described a good matchmaker as being like a good recruiter by obtaining great impartial feedback, listening to your needs, and thoughtfully matching them, which can often turn a bad date around and get you a second chance.
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